A tiny flame...

 The last couple of weeks have been an adjustment for me. Old habits are beginning to fade away and I can feel my thought patterns shifting with each day. My sleeping habits are changing as well and most mornings I wake feeling much more refreshed than I used to. As I continue moving forward I can feel my own strength growing in increments, that tiny flame is still only a pinpoint in the darkness, but it is just a bit brighter each day.

Imagine, if you will, trying to start a fire in a cave with only a spark, just a tiny ember. Your life depends on this fire. You don't blow on it, instead you only whisper a bit of air over it. You feed it blades of withered grass until it's strong enough to have a few pine needles. The flame that finally arises is smaller than the ones on your birthday candles, and so fragile. You know that if you dump a bunch of leaves onto it you'll smother the last of the warmth and it will die. And so you're carefully tending it, putting all of your heart into it. Soon you're able to add bits of wood as thin as a pencil, then as big around as your thumb. With each addition you are careful to add only what your small fire can handle. You don't feel relief just yet, but you feel a strong hope that the fire will live, even though a gust of wind could extinguish it completely. Your focus is solely on the flames in front of you because you know that your survival depends on it. After a while you can add branches as thick as your wrist and you know that you can bring the larger ones closer so that they begin to heat up without being right in the fire. It takes patience and time but, once you're able to add the thick branches, you know that the heavy logs around the perimeter will soon be burning and you will have a fire that will not only keep you alive, but will be strong enough to keep your cave warm enough to thrive. You'll still need to tend it each day but you know that you can count on it being there.

This is a little bit about how I feel right now. My tiny spark is growing and is now strong enough for the pine needles. As long as I stay focused on it (my Spiritual health), I know that I'll have a bonfire before long and I'll be able to dance around it in celebration of my Life.

In the meantime, I've created new routines and am learning new habits. The kind of habits that will keep me alive through all that I have planned for my life.

May you all have that flame in your hearts and may it be strong and sure.

Day thirteen: Gift

It's a dangerous business, going out your door.
You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet,
there's no telling where you might be swept off to.

I think about the gifts I have received over the years and realize that, even though others might not see how precious they are, these gifts are truly jewels. And... they aren't what you might think.

A car accident that "should have" killed me and my daughter. A gunshot in my back yard. Struggling with the bills for so long. Even my recent bout with pneumonia. Each and every one of these caused me to stop at that point in my life and reevaluate what was going on. Was I really taking good care of myself? Was I truly doing what was best in my life? What did I need to focus on?

I'm not saying that I want to receive these gifts frequently, but when they do come along, I hope that I always have the clarity of mind to see them as a way to stop and gather my strength and make better choices. The most important way for me to live is to be true to myself. I know that others will not agree with my choices, but they are mine and no longer will they be to appease another.

Post a day?

I'm currently taking part in a crafty picture-a-day bit of fun and am enjoying it so far. I know that a part of my challenge is following it through to the end. I've been great at starting these things only to let it dwindle within a couple of weeks. But I'm saying that it's different now. Why? Because I will make it so.

Another woman (you really should check out her blog) put up this image a couple of days ago and I was thinking pretty hard about the prompts. But, I couldn't think of anything that would be "right" for the pictures. Only words. And so... I'm going to post each day based on the prompt. I'm going to be using this as a kickstart to getting this blog more current, more vibrant, and more On Fire.

Since I'm a few days late in getting started, I'll combine the first five days here:

One: Advent

I will admit that I don't have a clear understanding of what Advent is. I didn't attend church when I was young except for the occasional trip with Grammie or something like that. When I was about fourteen I was given the opportunity to visit a variety of churches so that I could find one that I liked. I ended up choosing the Peoria Presbyterian Church because of the way everyone felt like they knew each other, it was small, and the pastor and his family were pretty cool. Even though I attended every Sunday and even had a big part of the VBS, I didn't learn the particulars of each season. The basics, yes, but not the finer details.

So I looked up what "advent" means.

ad·vent

ˈadˌvent/

noun

noun: advent; plural noun: advents

1.

the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event.

2. Advent

   a. The liturgical period preceding Christmas, beginning in Western churches on the fourth Sunday before Christmas and in Eastern churches in mid-November, and observed by many Christians as a season of prayer, fasting, and penitence.

I'll be honest, that didn't really help me to understand. But I gave it some thought and broke it down in a way that resonated with me. "The arrival" of something notable. That could mean so many different things to each person. To me, it meant the coming of a time to learn more about my own Self. The same Self that I'd set aside because she didn't fit the role of what I thought was supposed to be. The same Self that was dwindling with each passing year. The same Self that wanted to fly and sing and dance. For many, this is a time of prayer and thoughtfulness. I will be using it for meditation, journaling, and growing.

Two :Wait

Waiting isn't easy for me. I'm not entirely sure why that is, but it's been that way for a long while now. Currently I am waiting to finish recovering from pneumonia. I've been impatient with the process, angry with my body's slowness and fatigue, and frustrated with my lungs' diminished capacity for deep breathing.

And yet... I'm learning to look at this as a lesson. To slow down, to listen to my limits, to say no when I am already overreaching and overworking. To take better care of my Self. To rest and to recharge. Sometimes waiting is exactly what is needed.

Three: Listen

My days used to be filled with music. I'd turn the radio on in the morning (or set up a few cds or a long playlist on the computer) and not turn it off until I went to bed. Sometimes I'd even set up a soothing bit of music to sleep by. That dwindled somewhat over the years and I missed it so very much. I can't place my finger on a time when I actually stopped turning the music on each day, but I know it's been a long time. On Tuesday (the day this prompt was for), I set up Pandora and left it running all day. It was so nice coming home to a beautiful song! It was also nice having the peace of the music flowing through my house all throughout the day.

Four: Promise

This one was harder to think about. You see, I have a promise inside just for Me. A promise that I cannot share aloud. But it is strong and proud and fierce. I can feel it glowing and growing. For now, I will share this bit... I promise to listen to my intuition and to act on the messages I feel/hear.

Five: Anticipation

In many ways, I've forgotten what anticipation felt like. I can clearly recall worry, wondering at an outcome, and even waiting for someone to show up at the door. But anticipation? That wonder-filled emotion that makes your breath come quicker, brings a smile to your eyes, and sends a tremor of delight through your bones? No, that's been a distant memory for ages. But... I was able to get Brianna a gift for Yule this year. One that she didn't ask for but I know that she wants it dearly. And it arrived yesterday while she was in school. Currently it is wrapped up and sitting on the altar next to the tree we have set up. and that feeling of anticipation began to bloom. I know that she won't care that I spent only a few dollars for it. I know that she won't care that it's not brand new. I also know that she will cherish it and it will bring that sparkle to her eyes. And I can't wait for her to open it. That is my anticipation right now.

Rising slowly...

Have you missed me?

I can't say that the last few months have been fabulous, but neither have they been horrible. I've been struggling with some hurts and decisions and the direction I want my life to be heading. This is never an easy task and one made even more difficult when there are other lives intertwined with mine. I have my children to think about. Granted, one is now an adult and can take care of himself and the other is nearly an adult and will soon be out on her own. But they are still considered with the decisions I make, especially the really big ones. I have others, too, but their part is too vast in this to even attempt the task of narrowing it down to mere words.

I had withdrawn into my deepest Self at the end of February. The reasons for that are my own and I've only shared them with one person. I may never share them with other people, but that could change over time. As everything can, and always does, change. During this time, I had been thinking about how I let other people affect me. I'd been contemplating prescription medication (yeah, really). I'd been trying to figure out what I should fight for and what I should let go of. In the middle of it all my spark of Light and Hope flickered to nearly nothing and I almost gave up everything. Don't get me wrong, I'd never end my life or anything like that, but there are other ways to give up. One is to give up that brilliance that we all have inside. To give that up means that you just go from day to day following the routine, smiling when it's appropriate, answering the questions people ask you, and never allowing the beauty of the world to really touch your soul. To me, that is a far deeper death than the cessation of bodily life.

During this time of sheltering my Self, there were only a few moments of emotional connection and they brought on such a rush of chaos or pain that I broke down and cried. Some of those times I didn't merely shed a few tears, I sobbed so fiercely that I thought I'd break in two. And, when the words I spoke were misunderstood or even ignored by those around me, I stepped back into my cave.

I read the various "words of wisdom" that were splashed in my books, across Facebook, and written in other places and I tried to figure out how they fit into my life. Fight for what you believe in. Let go of the struggle. Live your life to the fullest. Find gratitude in the life you have. Eliminate the toxic people from your life. Forgive those who cause you pain. Hold on. Let go. Smile. Cry. Be at peace. Let the rage wash over you. Don't give up. Accept your fate.Where is the enlightenment in the middle of so many conflicting messages? Which answers really fit the Life I want to give to myself? What choices do I make?

Part of me realized that there is a need for all of those bits of wisdom. During some parts of my life I will need to forgive the hurts and keep those people around, during others I will need to forgive and walk away without looking back. At some points I will need to smile and let joy shine through, at others I will need to cry and let the rage boil over. All of these are vital to a life lived to the best of my ability. I deserve nothing less than that.

I knew something had to change so I started working on some things that would help my future be a little more stable. Each day I worked on something that would benefit my life in some way or another. Some days it was making sure I meditated. Many days it was dyeing extra yarns. Once in a while it was letting myself just stare out the window at the birds in the back yard for a little while. Regardless of what it was that I did, I made sure it was done with reverence for the gift of Life that I had been given.

Yesterday a lot of those things coalesced into a fabulous day of celebrations. The money for my CCW permit, the filing of my business registration, the completion of one of my healer's certifications, the order placed for more shipping labels, the lunch with my son, the requirement met for the new team in Nerd Wars, and, perhaps most important, the support I felt from my loved ones and my friends.

Are there still pieces of my life that are in shambles? Yes, of course. But I have come to realize that it's not entirely up to me to rebuild what has been shattered. Some things that have been broken need repairs from other people, too. My job is to live my life with the integrity that I know I am capable of, with the bravery I know I have inside me, and with the dedication to what I believe in that I know I have the capacity for. (Hah! I just realized that the antonyms for those are honor, courage, and commitment... yes, I find that amusing, considering that the first 28 years of my life I thought bad things about the Marine Corps.)

And now? Now I am taking the time to breathe. And to Shine just a little bit until I feel stable again with all the emotions.

Collecting moments

I've had days, lately, when I've felt like letting go, giving up, and retreating from life for a while. But what good would that do me? None at all. And so, I keep going. Perhaps this is part of being On Fire, too... small embers that are hidden in the ashes, just warm enough to relight the flames with just a bit of fresh air.

I've been writing a lot lately. Some of it is good stuff, some of it is just my hurts and concerns. Some will be burned in a small fire, some will be shared with the appropriate people, some will be buried in the yard. All of this is a way to help me get things sorted out and determine how to set my sails.

-

I've had this orchid for a couple years. Its flowers fell off long ago and it didn't put out another spike until recently. I had decided to mount it onto a piece of wood and hang it on the wall and in the process I noticed that there was a tiny spike with some nubby sections. I was so very excited and a little nervous that I'd messed it up from yanking it from the pot (the roots had attached themselves). Today it seems like a pretty happy plant.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this all turns out.

-


There are days when all seems to go right, and days when all seems to go wrong. But in each of those situations there are moments to hold onto. Anthony's smile when I opened the door, Brianna's laughter during a movie she didn't really care to watch, Kevin wrapping a warm blanket around me when I wasn't feeling good. These are all such small things, but have such an impact on my heart. When I think about these things I know that my life really is blessed. Each hard time is just a little sorrow in the grand scheme of things. Each smile is a ray of light helping me along.

-

This weekend was a little crazy, but all in all it was pretty good. I have a couple new ideas to implement for the business, a couple dreams to put on the shelf, a couple fires to light, and I'm looking forward to getting a few things cleared away so I can hang the new calendar with a fresh start. Some of this will be very easy, some will be quite a challenge... all of it is Life.

Creativity

There are times when I wonder what kind of a life I'd have lived if I wasn't creative. Then I laugh because I know that's just not possible. And I am filled with joy.

I finally know what I'll be doing with the denim jacket that was given to me a few years ago. I wanted it to be really special since someone very special gave it to me. I wanted to show my Spirituality with the honor I feel it deserves. I wanted to include vibrant colors for the Life I feel. I wanted it to be beautiful. And now, I have decided to embroider several designs onto the front and back of this jacket. Yes, it will take longer than painting it, but I will be stitching a lot of gratitude and intention with each stitch. I can't wait to get started!

I split wood this past weekend. I know many people see that as a chore and a bother, but I truly enjoy it. There is a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing that I can do that. That I can take these large pieces of wood and shape them into something useful. Granted, it's not really "survival" anymore, but it still feels good.

While pulverizing one piece (I didn't say I was great at splitting wood, only that I enjoy it), I chipped off a piece that will be perfect for mounting my orchid onto. I still need some wire & moss, but I know it's going to look pretty cool when I'm done with it.

Lately I've been thinking about my direction. Where have I been? Where am I hoping to go? Where am I now? There were a lot of good things about where I've been (along with some challenges) and I try to see it all as helping me to get to where I want to be. There are some paths that I long to take and, even though the future is pretty scary sometimes, I look forward to facing the stumbles. And, there are bright moments about where I am, even though I can't always see them. All in all, this life is a good one. Perhaps not entirely what I'd hoped for, or what my mother had hoped for, but good nonetheless. And I'm determined to keep making it better.

Indian Summer

Do you know what the term "Indian Summer" means? It's a period of unseasonably warm (and dry) weather that comes after a killing frost. We had the frost and now we are having warm weather, albeit a little wet.

Did you also know that it means a period of happiness or success late in life? I didn't, but it makes a lot of sense. I'm still mulling that one over, but I like it a lot. How much frost and cold and death do we experience as we get older? The day to day struggle, the sorrow of our children growing up and leaving home, the loss of loved ones and friends. In the middle of it all we are also blessed with finding new ways to be successful, the joy and pride of seeing our children making it on their own, and welcoming new lives and friends.

This past week has been a lot of struggle for me. It's not often that I feel maudlin about my mother's passing, but this last week I did. There are things going on in my life that I'd like to tell her about. Successes, lessons learned, the beauty and love that I feel for my own children, the pride I have in myself for not being a charity case... and so much more.

Often I am enjoying new adventures and I feel so much amazement at most of them. This weekend? Well, I used the winch on the Jeep to help bring down a tree, but the best part of the day was climbing the side of a very steep hill with Brianna. It was a little scary at many points simply because the ground was still waterlogged, there was a thick layer of damp leaves over loads of acorns, and neither of us were wearing proper shoes. But when we reached the top, it felt amazing to know that we did it with no major injuries. And the memory of the look on Brianna's face was something I will carry with me for the rest of my years as a wonderful blessing.

I've been pushing myself in other ways, too. The exercising, for example. I ramped up to an hour each day (split into 30 minute sessions) and on Friday I reached Lothlorien with a total of 921.6 Miles. I was so excited by that milestone! I know I still have many more to go, but I am looking forward to continuing this journey.

At the end of this day, I am looking forward to falling asleep and hoping that the people I love will wake tomorrow with a smile in their hearts and a liveliness to their steps.

Namasté.

Espresso!

Yes, I now have a lovely machine to create espresso and cappuccino. It's from my Dad and I've been playing around with getting the froth right. I love the fact that my 1% milk can bring such a rich and creamy texture to my coffee each day. I just might stop buying half & half. You see, while I was in Asheville I had a couple chai lattes and have decided that I really like it a lot. I'll be using this little machine to enjoy that sweet drink (with stevia instead of sugar) right here at home.

I also got a new dress. This is something that I'd not planned to do for quite some time, but we had a wedding to attend on the 13th and I just didn't feel right wearing my Gypsyesque attire. And so, we went shopping and found something at the local Goodwill (I really do like that place). I wasn't really sure how it would look on me since the mirrors in the dressing rooms are inadequate and I had the opinion of a teen daughter who really didn't feel like shopping. After it was washed & dried, I put it back on and was told again that it looked pretty good on me.

The wedding was a lovely event. Outdoors, nice breeze, great temperatures. And! My friend Maha was the one officiating (she also does healing work). How cool is that? When we got to the reception I was quite impressed with the simple, yet elegant decor. Very Autumn-like with various squashes, pine cones, and apples. The food was Mediterranean and was delicious. I splurged a bit that day with the gyro bread and didn't feel guilty at all.

Afterward we enjoyed a quiet weekend with laughter, movies, and the great feeling of family.

Sunday morning I woke thinking about my Mom (it was her birthday) and how much more I miss her now than I did when I was only twenty-three. I hardly gave her a second thought for a few years after she passed away. I'd carried resentment for so many things and just figured it was better to leave her out of my thoughts than to get angry every time she crossed my mind. It wasn't until a month or so after my car accident that I began to think of her with any kind of appreciation. Brianna brought that about with her complete faith in her angel, who I am certain was my mother.

While on the phone with my Dad that night, though... I could hear in his voice the love he still has for her. Yes, even after all of these years. They've been apart for nearly four decades at this point. No, I'm not joking. I think I was four years old at the time she left him. And still, his voice cracks a little when he speaks of her.

I feel blessed to have come from a love like that.

Repairs & Recharging

This has been one of the more stressful weeks of this year as well as one of the most rewarding. Nothing big happened to cause the stress, just a pile of little things each day that only added to the stress of the day before. At one point I broke down and cried in anger and frustration simply because I had reached the end of the rope and there were more little stresses being added. Why did I not release some of the stresses before it got to that point? Pride? Perhaps. But I'll tell you this; I handled it on my own. Maybe not with as much grace as I would have liked, but still, I handled it.

But the good stuff? Ah, the good stuff was very good.

Earlier this week I attended the first live/online class I've been able to attend. All the others were on a night when it was really too late in the evening, but this time, I was okay staying up just a little late. It was so cool to be able to ask questions when they came to mind and hear from the other students as well. This class was about the code of ethics and how we should handle clients and lots of other stuff. Very helpful, to say the least. (For those wondering; I haven't missed any of the classes before this, I've been downloading the recorded versions.)

I had started to lose faith that I'd be able to run 5k by my birthday. The times that I could actually run were so limited and I just couldn't see a way to get any good training in. I posted about it, and felt bad about doing so. But then... April kind of nudged me in a different direction and told me what to do. And I followed her instructions. Then I reached 900 miles on my trip across Middle Earth! How awesome is that‽ I didn't even hurt that much the following day. Yes, I was very sore, but I didn't feel like I was going to cry every time I walked down the hallway. Now I'm pretty certain I can reach my goal after all.

This weekend was an odd mix of emotions. Brianna & I ran our errands early-ish on Saturday and it felt good to get some of the things we really needed. The budget is still very tight, but there was more breathing room this time. After a wonderful dinner with two of my loved ones, I spent a relaxed evening watching Angels & Demons (I'd never seen it before) and sipping coffee laced with Harlequin Orange Liqueur. 

Then the work started. Sunday morning was pretty relaxed but that ended soon after breakfast. It was time to work on the Jeep. My door has been locked into the closed position for a long time now. I've grown quite agile in getting into the driver seat from the passenger side. Also needing fixed was a lighting issue. After getting the door taken apart (Jeeps are awesome in their simplicity), we still couldn't figure out why it wouldn't release. So, the other door was also taken apart for comparison. Still no luck. I was a little nervous that I'd have to replace the whole mechanism or something in order to have a working door. Here is what it looks like -

After a bit of time I thought of something to try and it worked! I figured it out! And now my door is in working order and will even lock.

The lighting issue was a little more involved. Kevin had me go through a series of actions while he took lots of notes. Engine off, headlights on, left turn signal on; engine off, headlights on, right turn signal on; apply brakes, release brakes... the list goes on. This didn't seem like it was going to be an easy fix to me and I was a bit nervous on the extent of work that might be involved. After all, this is a '93 so it's not even remotely new. Wires get brittle with time, there could be a short somewhere, there could be a broken wire... I know it's no fun tracing wires in a vehicle.After some time of more thinking, we tried an idea and that worked, too! After nearly 5 hours of work and less than $3, the Jeep is now in better shape. 

Oh! Now the center console is attached, too! No more slipping to the back.

Today I'm more sore than I was on Saturday after the running. I think it's because I wouldn't let Kevin help me lift the door off the body. I know I probably should have, but I am the kind of woman who feels pretty damn proud of being able to handle things like that without help. The pain today is just an indicator that I should strengthen my body a bit more.

On that note I will leave you all with a blessings:

May you all have the strength and courage to face your trials with grace and dignity. May you all know the feeling of pride in your accomplishments.

Namasté.

Fiery weekend

This weekend was full of firsts for me. I hadn't started out with that intention, but it happened that way on its own.

One stemmed from a joke about not eating something you don't know. Well, I had to look it up to see what it was and I was surprised and thrilled to discover that I just might enjoy Crepes Suzette. Kevin bravely let me use his kitchen (I say bravely because I've caught several things on fire by accident) for this dessert and even handed me the lighter. I will admit that I didn't get it to light the first time. I was pretty disappointed, but we heated up a little more of the liqueur and tried again. That time I was the camera person. When the flames caught I was startled (yes, I know I shouldn't have been) so the picture is a little off.

It was yummy! And, as we were tasting and savoring this wonderful bit of sweetness, ideas began flowing for altering the recipe. Pineapple juice, peach brandy, lady fingers... ah, the cooking muse awoke. When I get the flames right I just might throw a party or something.

There was a really cool storm that rolled through and I got my first shot of lightning!I was standing inside the doorway with the camera ready and waiting. Every time before I was too slow or too fast and caught just the bright sky, missing the actual bolts. This time I got it! I'm pretty thrilled by this and am looking forward to trying it again. Come on, weather, send me another storm!

I know, I know, there are a lot of pictures of lightning out there in the internet and other places, but I have been trying for a long time. Lately I've been playing with various settings on my camera as well and I'm looking forward to getting better at taking pictures. Next on my list is to try long exposure. This little camera has it and I'm hoping to have an evening of sitting outdoors, and playing around with it. Luckily, the summer won't last much longer and I can try this without getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and such.

-

When I go places special I collect a rock. Not always since I don't find one that is just right all the time. But I have two rocks that are special since they remind me of a great time. One was from a camping trip with my kids. We went to a place called Blue Rock in Ohio and we had a wonderfully relaxing and fun weekend. There was a rock at our site that was perfect for holding stuff and it called to me. It's been sitting here with me for a few years and I finally decided that it was time.

 

Tada! Now I have a candle holder. After finishing the one abaove I set to work on the rock that means even more to me. That one had a lot more quartz in it (both were sandstone) and was a lot more challenging to get through, and at one point I needed a little help.

The second rock reminds me of a special beginning. When the sun was warm and the future was full of sunshine and possibilities. It reminds me that, even in the times of rain and darkness, endurance and faith will get you through to the sunshine again. I'm not going to write much more about that one other than to say that it was placed on my altar and I smile every time I see it.

This weekend had me thinking of various times in my life. When a friendship was still new, when I still believed in fairy tale endings, when I was oblivious to the hurts that come with living, when my mom was still alive, when my children were still little, when... so many things. With those thoughts it occurred to me that I still have so much to do and so many dreams to reach for. I hope I always remember to live with the vitality and vivaciousness I felt this weekend.

Namasté.

Changes on the horizon

There are so many changes coming up in my life and I'm not even sure where to start. Most of them scare the crap out of me, but more and more I am seeing the wondrous possibilities in these changes. The opportunity for growth and stronger connections. The potential for a deeper relationship with those I love. And, the promise of a better feeling of Self.

One of these changes is my thought on running. A dear friend has been running for a little while now and I've cheered her on with the knowledge that I'd never do that, but I was so happy for her. But then she started talking about running through the woods and how wonderful that was. It sounded nice but I still didn't see myself doing that. Then the dreams started. Good ones this time, of me running through the woods. Of me feeling a deep, spiritual connectedness to the Earth around me. After a few of these dreams I knew that I had to at least try. And so, I started the Couch to 5k (C25K) program. At first I wasn't even able to keep up with that first week schedule. That's a bit sad, but it's true. But I kept going and on Saturday I walked/ran in my first 5k. I told almost no one. April knew since she's the one who helped me through a lot of it. Brianna knew because she lives with me and it's kind of hard to hide the fact that I'm not walking on the treadmill. I didn't tell my Ravelry folks until Sunday (the 24th). By then I was sure the most important people knew about it (turns out to not be the case, but I didn't know that), so I felt okay with telling my group. One of my club members decided to come and cheer me on and that was really cool. I didn't tell anyone on Facebook until after the event and Brianna actually told everyone before I did.

And now? Now I would like to be outside, getting my body more used to running. Now I'm looking forward to being able run the entire distance instead of walking part of it. Do I see myself running outside in this town? Nope, it still doesn't appeal to me. For now I have a great imagination and a treadmill and that will have to do until I'm in a better place.

Another change isn't mine to tell yet, but it will affect my life significantly. In many good ways and a couple of not-so-great ways. But there is an immense amount of hope and faith going into it. For now, I'm looking at it as another aspect of this decade being On Fire.

And, that leaves the scheduled changes:

~ Brianna can get a driving permit now. She doesn't really seem that enthused about it, but it's still a milestone for her. I'll be taking her to the BMV on the 11th to get everything taken care of. Then starts the fun of parking lot driving. Since we have only my Jeep, she will be learning a manual transmission which is awesome.

~ I'll be renewing my driving license and plates very soon, too. I wavered a little about keeping my personalized plates. It's an expense I don't need, of course. But the smile they bring me when I see them? I think it's worth it.

~ The kittens are growing nicely and are just starting to get the fuzzy-cute look to them. I'm going to be introducing Nala to the rest of the house pretty soon so that she learns more about indoor living. I'm nervous for my own cats since Nala is a tough little thing, but I want her to have a good home soon and more people would be likely to take her if she can get along with others. At this point, two kittens have a home and I'm sure the others will find homes soon after I start posting more pictures.

~ This one isn't really a scheduled change, but a good life-change anyway. I have been studying more about herbs lately and have been able to make some changes to my arnica blend. I found two more herbs that will help with muscle pain. I also am taking a course in crystal healing that is based on the science of the crystals' vibrations. So far it's pretty cool. There are other course I want to take later and I know I will enjoy them. Do I care about a degree? No, not in the least. But the learning is fun. And important to my health.

May you all find peace and wisdom in the changes coming your way.
Namasté.