Rainy Monday

Sometimes I forget that there is something special to focus on. All I can see is the stuff right in front of me and it all looks broken and ready to crumble. I find it hard to remember that there are things of beauty and Life just beyond my immediate surroundings. That the possibilities of tomorrow are just around the corner. I know, the teachings are to live in the moment, but when I do that for too long I lose a little hope in the future.
I will admit that there are times when being a mom is just... challenging.


Brianna is becoming the typical teenager and it is hard to get used to. Some of the words she says are hurtful, and I know she is just trying to find her way. All I can do is keep nudging her in the best direction possible and hope that she finds her footing on her own path of strength and courage.

It's Thursday night I'm still a little stunned at this day. It started out with a painful
moment with Brianna, then became an offer for something special in the late afternoon. I can't really share what that offer is since it's all going to be a surprise. I will only say that I'm very excited and a little terrified. But it's a very good thing.

Monday - I'll admit that this is the first rainy day that I have felt energized instead of sleepy in a very long time. I think I know why that is, too. You see, there have been a few things that have been weighing heavy on my mind. Things that are my responsibility and... well, let's just say they were bringing me down. I spoke about them this weekend and felt so much better afterward. Not only because it was now a shared burden, but because it was pointed out to me that the burden really wasn't that big of a deal and that, no matter what, everything would be okay.

My day, so far, has been filled with uninterrupted reading, preparing yarn, playing with kittens, running on the treadmill, and standing in the rain. This was a much-needed break from the summer and I have enjoyed each moment of it.

Brianna walked home in the rain on her first day as a sophomore. I knew that was what she wanted and I was happy to see the smile on her face when she walked up the sidewalk, soaking wet. There are lots of papers to fill out, of course, and I finished that up before dinner. There is one mix-up with a class (she took it already) and it should eb straightened out soon. We'll see what tomorrow holds.

May you all have a beautiful week.

Creeping along...

So, I had a fairly crappy post on here earlier today and I am revising it (again). I didn't start this blog as a "poor me, life sucks" vent. Instead I started it to highlight things that are new in my life. Things to celebrate. And as a way to show how cool I think it is to be 40 years old.

On that note... I have a couple new ideas for Alina Shea Creations and I think they are going to be pretty cool when I get them started. I also have been enjoying the crystal healing class and am looking forward to working with the crystals even more.

Brianna now has her driving permit and I will be getting her behind the wheel as often as I can. I want her to be ready for most things by the time she gets her driver's license next summer.

Anthony is home on leave and will be heading back later this week. It was nice having him here.

I have some crafty ideas that I'm looking forward to trying out as soon as I can get the tools together. One project requires a lot of focus since there is a potential for severe injury if I'm not careful. As soon as I get that one going I'll be sure to share some pictures.

Well, that's it for today. Much more cheerful post and more along the lines of how I want this blog to be.

I truly hope you all have a great week.

It's Monday?

I don't feel like it's been a whole week already. Perhaps because I've been staying busy. Most of my busy-ness has been in my head, but it was still there.

Physically, this week was mostly about resting, stretching, and eating lots of veggies. I was certain I'd feel up to beginning the C25K again this week, but there is one small issue. I had a broken tooth removed on Friday and woke this morning to throbbing. Which is aggravating since it was fine all weekend. After a little research it sounds a little like dry socket. No big deal since I have plenty of clove oil.

The kittens are growing so much and I was able to get some video of them playing in the box. I am looking forward to having them settled in their new homes even though I know it will still be a little while yet.

My mind is a little numb this morning (lack of sleep and strange dreams), so I will end this with good wishes for you all.

Changes on the horizon

There are so many changes coming up in my life and I'm not even sure where to start. Most of them scare the crap out of me, but more and more I am seeing the wondrous possibilities in these changes. The opportunity for growth and stronger connections. The potential for a deeper relationship with those I love. And, the promise of a better feeling of Self.

One of these changes is my thought on running. A dear friend has been running for a little while now and I've cheered her on with the knowledge that I'd never do that, but I was so happy for her. But then she started talking about running through the woods and how wonderful that was. It sounded nice but I still didn't see myself doing that. Then the dreams started. Good ones this time, of me running through the woods. Of me feeling a deep, spiritual connectedness to the Earth around me. After a few of these dreams I knew that I had to at least try. And so, I started the Couch to 5k (C25K) program. At first I wasn't even able to keep up with that first week schedule. That's a bit sad, but it's true. But I kept going and on Saturday I walked/ran in my first 5k. I told almost no one. April knew since she's the one who helped me through a lot of it. Brianna knew because she lives with me and it's kind of hard to hide the fact that I'm not walking on the treadmill. I didn't tell my Ravelry folks until Sunday (the 24th). By then I was sure the most important people knew about it (turns out to not be the case, but I didn't know that), so I felt okay with telling my group. One of my club members decided to come and cheer me on and that was really cool. I didn't tell anyone on Facebook until after the event and Brianna actually told everyone before I did.

And now? Now I would like to be outside, getting my body more used to running. Now I'm looking forward to being able run the entire distance instead of walking part of it. Do I see myself running outside in this town? Nope, it still doesn't appeal to me. For now I have a great imagination and a treadmill and that will have to do until I'm in a better place.

Another change isn't mine to tell yet, but it will affect my life significantly. In many good ways and a couple of not-so-great ways. But there is an immense amount of hope and faith going into it. For now, I'm looking at it as another aspect of this decade being On Fire.

And, that leaves the scheduled changes:

~ Brianna can get a driving permit now. She doesn't really seem that enthused about it, but it's still a milestone for her. I'll be taking her to the BMV on the 11th to get everything taken care of. Then starts the fun of parking lot driving. Since we have only my Jeep, she will be learning a manual transmission which is awesome.

~ I'll be renewing my driving license and plates very soon, too. I wavered a little about keeping my personalized plates. It's an expense I don't need, of course. But the smile they bring me when I see them? I think it's worth it.

~ The kittens are growing nicely and are just starting to get the fuzzy-cute look to them. I'm going to be introducing Nala to the rest of the house pretty soon so that she learns more about indoor living. I'm nervous for my own cats since Nala is a tough little thing, but I want her to have a good home soon and more people would be likely to take her if she can get along with others. At this point, two kittens have a home and I'm sure the others will find homes soon after I start posting more pictures.

~ This one isn't really a scheduled change, but a good life-change anyway. I have been studying more about herbs lately and have been able to make some changes to my arnica blend. I found two more herbs that will help with muscle pain. I also am taking a course in crystal healing that is based on the science of the crystals' vibrations. So far it's pretty cool. There are other course I want to take later and I know I will enjoy them. Do I care about a degree? No, not in the least. But the learning is fun. And important to my health.

May you all find peace and wisdom in the changes coming your way.
Namasté.

A very busy week.

First there was an issue with the kitchen sink. A pretty large crack in the hose was causing water to leak whether I was using the sprayer or not. Interestingly enough, it was not a standard faucet so I ended up replacing the whole thing. A total of three trips to the hardware store was all it took. Kevin helped me laugh about it instead of getting more frustrated. That was on Tuesday.

Wednesday was filled with an urgency to do something for the cat we've been calling Nala. You may remember that she bit me a little while ago. I felt this very strong need to get her indoors. Brianna and I cleared the furnace room and all the clean laundry from the laundry room and coaxed her in. We let her go in and out a few times and didn't close the back door for a couple hours. Finally, right before lunch I knew the door needed to close and she needed to be kept inside. Sure enough, she decided to lay down in the box we made for her and sleep. Every time I left the area she'd get up and try to follow me. A couple times she climbed into my lap and leaned against my chest. No hissing, no teeth, just a need for comfort. The first kitten was born around 1:15 and Brianna & I were both in there to see it. So amazing! And even more astonishing? She had seven and they are all healthy.

What makes this cat more special than all the others I've rescued or TNRed? I don't really know. I do know that she was feral, and still quite young. I know that it took at least 2 weeks to get her to the point where we could touch her. Perhaps one of her kittens will help someone who is sad. Maybe she will find a home with someone who needs that sassy attitude that she has. I don't know the big picture.

(In the picture to the right, she is actually standing, leaning on the side of the "cave" we made, and sleeping with her head resting on her kittens.)